Sex App-eal

Point 01: Sex robots
Point 02: 2-D girlfriends
Point 03: Starbucks nude logo outrage

At the intersection of science and sex is a motley collection of strange inventions and stranger personalities. People seeking ways to bring sex into the technology age. One way is to adapt old technologies to new, wanton uses. Another is to bring some outside-the-box ideas into the realm of the libido.

Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day; give a man a way to talk to a female without the awkwardness of face-to-face interaction, and he will use it to get laid. Cellular phones have been enabled and adapted to today's fast-paced, super-connected dating landscape. From those looking to make connections to those seeking quick relief (link not provided), the cell phone is a veritable Swiss Army knife of sexual fulfillment.

Of course if you can't stand putting up with members of the opposite sex having those pesky attributes called free will and self-determination, fear not! David Levy, a PhD from the University of Maastricht in the Netherlands predicts that we will be having sex with robots within 5 years and marrying them by 2050. Those liberal elites in Massachusetts will be first to make marrying robots legal, according to Levy. Levy points out that the technology is already available in the form of realistic sex dolls and all that is missing are "some electronics ... to add some vibration." Before you rush off and start Googling this guy, the answer is 'yes', he is married, but that would not sop him from trying out one of these fembots as well as letting his wife get in on the fun: "I would regard it as genuine scientific curiosity." While Levy waits, perhaps he should start practicing using this IT Kama Stura illustration as a guide. Another possibility would be to move to Japan as the Japanese are already leaps and bounds ahead of us in this as in all technology fields.

Of course if you can't stand putting up with beings that reside in and utilize all three spatial dimensions, you will be glad to know that Drew Burrows of NYU has the solution in the form of a projected, 2-dimensional girlfriend. She will spoon with you in bed and react to your movements. She is driven by a neat-sounding technology called "infrared sensitive light projection." Somehow I can't help but feel sorry for this sad genius. He is a modern-day Geppetto, but with a more lascivious motive.

I always thought that America was a nation or prudes. Maybe some of it has to do with the fact that about one fifth of all US households are disconnected from the Internet and have never sent an e-mail. If they saw all the lewdness, profanity, and man-on-robot lovin' that goes on within these tubes it would make them realize that having a barely-topless Starbucks logo is not such a big deal after all.

In any case, this technology-sex fusion will likely continue into the future and continue to amaze and confuse us. So for now, put down the Roomba, stop stroking your Pleo, and patiently await the golden age of cyborg kinkyness.

"For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook."
- Quentin Crisp